Episode 131 - The Infancy Of Grief
Oct 24, 2018
Once again I have been plagued by the concept of time.
When I was 10 I began marking time since my father passed and in reflecting back on his death and having begun the process of processing my mother's loss, I realize that I won't do the same with her loss.
When dad died I didn't know what I didn't know about loss: I would have a child that would never know him, or that I would have certain experiences that I would not be able to share or get advice from him. Each year that passed simply marked another year that I was able to "grow" without him.
My mother's death was different.. I had her for 51 years. She taught me and gave me everything she could... really everything I needed. The only thing that we really had left was, well, time.
Time the spend together and do our favorite things, just to make more memories.
I think about time now and I have listened to Hootie and the Blowfish song 'Time'. I had never really given the lyrics much thought until my mother passed.
Here is a link to the song: Time - Hootie and the Blowfish
Song lyric:
Time why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams
Time why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying
Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow?
And all the pain and sorrow running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time
Time I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red
Time hey, there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean
Maybe their mother won't cry tonight
Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free?
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in
Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine, I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time
And if I die tomorrow, just lay me down in sleep
Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time
Time you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare
Time the past has come and gone
The future's far away
And now only lasts for one second, one second
Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow, running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Walking, wasting
You ain't no friend of mine
And I don't know where I'm goin'
No don't know
[Incomprehensible] is just
Wasting, wasting, wasting time
Time why you punish me?
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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)